Years ago, before I REALLY got down and dirty with this spirituality stuff, I thought that I would know more. I thought that my beliefs would become more solid, more unshakable. I assumed that my knowledge of the Universe would take on some kind of concrete form and I could share my understanding with the world so they could find it too.
Don't get me wrong, puzzle pieces ARE defiantly fitting together more than they used to...the picture is starting to actually look like something rather than disjointed, scattered fragments.
BUT - the more I learn about myself, about the Universe, the more I dig and ask and get answers...the more questions arise. The bigger the Universe gets. The more grand my perspective is...and the more I see, the more I realize that what I do see is the tiniest fraction of reality.
There are some Truths that feel solid...that feel like a foundation in my journey...Love, Light, and Unity are the basics...and as these Truths grow, the more I learn about them, the deeper I go, the more I can see, the more I see the more I understand, the more I know that I don't know. And that it will NEVER end.
I mean NEVER.
You know that saying, "It's just the tip of the iceberg." ?
That's kind of how it is. When I sink beneath the surface into the dark and carry my Light deeper and deeper into the solitary abyss, I keep thinking I will hit the bottom of the iceberg. Maybe the ocean floor. But it just keeps going. So, while my TRUTH is still there, in comparison to what I find, it is so small!
There is no expert here.
Not you, not me, not the scientist or the bravest explorer. Being the expert is exhausting. It takes so much energy to put on the fake face of "knowing" when we don't know shit.
We pretend we know a lot about a lot...the food we should eat, how much water we should drink, how humans evolved, how the planet evolved, what religion is "right", what side of politics is "correct", who did what to who...and then someone comes along and "proves" us wrong in one way or another.
We like to know stuff because not knowing is uncomfortable. Downright scary in some cases. Some of us like to be the keeper of knowledge because it makes us feel special, cool, more spiritual, and important, like "somebody". And yet, there is a gigantic responsibility with "knowing".
What is it like to fall in love with not knowing? It's a big, fat, sigh of relief is what it is!!! I don't have to try and make someone believe what I believe. I don't have to have answers for everyone. I don't have to eradicate all doubt. I don't have to try to pretend to be someone I am not. It feels like letting go of a giant backpack full of rocks that I've been carrying around for years and didn't know it.
It feels free to live in the great SHRUG of experiencing existence.
Let's be real and get comfy with saying, "I don't know", and just sit in the place of unknowing.